I’ve been writing this post in my mind for several months, composing and decomposing it. I started writing it a few times, but always had trouble. Even with the title. One title began ‘I have found’, but that didn’t convey exactly what I wanted to say. Then I came up with ‘My spiritual journey has ended’. But immediately my heart said ‘no, NO’! Because I never want this journey of learning more of my Lord and Savior to be over. I think it will take all of eternity to learn and understand the infinite heart of God.
Sometimes it’s hard to put words to feelings. And throughout this journey I’ve experienced a multitude of feelings. It’s a scary thing to realize that something I’ve had confidence in for most of my life no longer brings me peace. And it’s hard to leave the comfort zone and go into unknown territory. But it was something I realized I must do. I can’t live without peace in my soul.
Although it has taken me quite awhile, I’m greatful for God’s patience with me. I would never have been able to take in, change my whole line of thinking and accept what He is showing me without the time to search my soul and reflect.
Soon after the time I described in my April 1st post, I moved. It’s true that I had liked the community church, but I decided to check out some closer in my new area. I attended one in the downtown area with a friend, But in had a tone of some of the things I could no longer handle in my own church. Then I tried one that another friend recommended. But to me the sermon was as dry as toast.
Last Mother’s Day I was going out with my daughter for brunch, so searched online for churches nearby with an evening service. One that came up was Baptist. When I was living in Missouri I had attended a Baptist church a few times when staying with friends, so I decided to try it. i enjoyed my brunch and a leisurely afternoon, then in the evening drove to the church–only to find no one there! Evidently they had cancelled the evening service due to the holiday. While driving around, wondering what I was going to do with the rest of my evening, I saw two ladies outside of a church. I drove in and ask if it was a church service. (I wanted to be sure it wasn’t some other activity related to Mother’s Day.)
They said yes, to come join them. So I did. Everyone was so welcoming, greeting me with smiles and handshakes. Immediately I was struck with the ‘feel’ of the place. I’ve been in places that were welcoming, some that were friendly. But this was a warm welcome. I could feel that they were glad I was there! I’ve never felt such acceptance. It brings tears to my eyes, even now, as I write this.
I don’t remember now what the sermon was about, but I liked it. Afterwards there was more greetings, everyone telling me how glad they were I had come and to please come back. I was invited to the Tuesday morning Women’s Bible Class, which I attended. I attended the Wednesday evening service, and both the Bible Class and the church service the next Sunday. And every service possible since then.
Writing this now, I realize it’s going to take more than one setting to relate. Because of content length and the emotions that I’m feeling as I write, I’m going to end here and contine my story later.